Chapter 9

Self-Control

Is Self-Control a Biblical Concept?

Egkrateia is the compound word used in the New Testament to express the idea of self-control. It is made up of the word kratos, which means power, and the word en, which means in. It conveys the idea of control coming from within a person. Is this a contradiction to the nature of Christianity? How does this relate to the control of the Holy Spirit? Isn’t our strength to come from God, not ourselves?

We have questions here because we have allowed the word self-control to be defined by men apart from God. There is a human viewpoint definition for every teaching in the Bible, even a human viewpoint description of who God is. A safe rule: Approach all Bible study with the conscious realization that our mentality has been conditioned by Satan’s cosmos to misunderstand the words of Scripture. For example, God and Satan both have a definition of love. God and Satan both have a definition of salvation. And God and Satan both have a definition of self-control.

Biblical Self-Control

In the Word of God, self-control is not contrary to but evidence of the control of the Holy Spirit. Galatians 5:22-23 is the truth we need to see. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control….” The word self-control is the one mentioned above, egkrateia. This passage clearly establishes that the control of the Spirit does not stand in contradiction to self-control. Self-control, as a matter of fact, is evidence of the control of the Spirit. It is among the fruits that He produces.

Confusion exists in many minds concerning the control of the Holy Spirit in one’s life. It is treated as though it is something from the outside acting upon us. Scripture teaches that the Holy Spirit’s control comes from within. In other words, it is not the Holy Spirit operating in place of us, but rather the Holy Spirit operating through us. The Holy Spirit guides and controls from within by giving us the right perspective through the Word of God. This makes it possible to exercise our volition in making decisions involving self-control.

Only in fellowship with God are we truly in control of our lives. He gets hold of us so we can get hold of ourselves. To many, the concept of the control of the Holy Spirit in one’s life means that we are essentially passive with Him doing the living. This makes the active voice imperative of the word egkrateia meaningless since we are waiting for Him to do the acting. This kind of believer really is functioning as a non-person, feeling guilty or unspiritual if he makes a move to take active control of the direction of his life.

A proper view of the control of the Holy Spirit makes a person very active, continually making choices and pursuing obedience. When Scripture commands something, this Christian immediately assumes the responsibility to pursue that course of action. He is functioning as a person who is responsible to act and choose. His course of action is dictated by the Word and motivated by the Holy Spirit.

In Titus 1:8, Paul lists self-control as a distinguishing characteristic of church leaders. Why is this the case? There is the obvious answer that leaders are role models who are to provide godly influence through their actions and decisions. Another subtle but vitally important reason is to exhibit the self-control that maintains a priority on teaching the Word. Rarely is there pressure to place more of an emphasis on teaching the Word. More often, leadership must protect this priority against other well-meaning activities that can take time away from Bible study in the local assembly.

Who Controls Our Lives?

This is not a question that can be answered absolutely. It must be answered issue-by-issue, minute-by-minute, and decision-by-decision. Granted, we all understand what the answer should be. Some Christians have a fault of not distinguishing between what should be and what really is. This is dangerous, of course, because it is self-delusion. Perhaps we can clear up the issue a bit by analyzing the options for control of our lives.

Options for Control

First of all, it is possible for circumstances to be the controlling factor in our responses and reactions. The car breaks down (a circumstance), and we go through a whole series of reactions. The issue here is simple. “Do I determine my reactions, or do the circumstances determine my reactions?” The answer tells who or what is in control of your life; is it you or circumstances?

It is also possible for another person or persons to be in control of our responses and reactions. The husband is in a bad mood, and his wife reacts by joining him. Or who hasn’t said, “You ruined my day!”? What we should say is, “I allowed you to ruin my day.” This places the responsibility where it belongs and shows that we are not victims. Being controlled by others is the opposite of the fruit of the Spirit called self-control.

This is not to say that we are to be rude and inconsiderate of the wishes of others under the cloak of self-control. It does mean, however, that when others influence us, it is by our own free choice. The believer is responsible to God, and God has told us what His will is. In return, He has given us the capacity to choose; and with it comes the responsibility to react as His will dictates.

A Special Remark About Marriage

A wife is to submit to her husband. The idea is for her to respond to his leadership. Submission is not responding to a set of orders, rather it’s recognizing his function in life and being supportive of him. The idea expressed in Genesis 2:18 is for her to be a helper. His role is to lead through godly choices in a loving way that welcomes her input and choices.

The danger for her is to place all of the responsibility for a decision on him and avoid acceptance of responsibility. His danger is to confuse leadership with insisting on his own way, which will eventually crush her volition. When volition is destroyed, love is destroyed. Which would you rather have, a loving response by choice, or a coerced response because she is forced to submit? When a husband destroys her right to choose, he will destroy her as a person and as a Christian, too. This is a sobering thought. While there is a sacred uniqueness to the marriage relationship, this principle for leaders to lovingly respect another’s volition is key for any healthy relationship, including parent-child and manager-employee relationships.

Healthy Christian Responses

It is important to distinguish between an action and a reaction. An action can be planned to get the response we want. Manipulative action is the practical means of implementing self-centeredness. Reactions, on the other hand, cannot be planned and reflect our thinking, our true self. At the root of right response is right knowledge. We can respond with what we know we should do, which is based in knowledge; or we can respond with what we feel, which is based in our emotions. Christian responses are determined by objective truth found in the Word of God, and thus how a Christian thinks. A human response is determined by the sin nature, and thus what we feel. We can’t respond correctly until we think correctly.

God’s positive and negative commands are an expression of His will. Understanding His will requires study of Scripture and how it applies in the age we live. For example, the Old Testament sacrificial system is not applicable in the Church Age, but stealing is a negative command for all ages.

God gives us commands because He knows we have the capacity to make choices in our actions and reactions. We affirm biblical commands when our actions and reactions align with these commands. In Ephesians 4:15, Paul tells us to “speak the truth in love.” This command provides a framework for Christian responses. We are to do the right thing in the right way. By speaking the truth, we do the right thing. By doing it with love, we do it in the right way. Being honest in communication may be the right thing, but when done in a brutal, insensitive way, we can cause hurt or even cause truth to be rejected because of how truth was delivered.

Another example of a command to action is found in I Peter 5:2. Elders are called to shepherd their congregation, do the right thing, with a willing, eager attitude not for personal gain, done in the right way.

The command in I Peter 3:9 assumes we are also able to control our reactions. We are to react to a wrong done to us by not returning evil for evil but by giving a blessing instead. This does not prohibit us from protecting or seeking justice. This command also implies we should expect to receive non-Christian treatment in this world.

When we respond negatively to God’s commands, we fall into His disciplinary plan. His discipline is always for our good, whether that is to remove us from worldly condemnation (I Corinthians 11:31-32) or to produce the fruit of peaceful righteousness (Hebrews 12:11). When we respond positively to God’s commands, we show our love for Him (John 14:21, 23, I John 5:3).

Self-control is far-reaching. Where we are in life is the result of our actions and reactions. We are responsible for our actions, reactions, thought life, and emotions. Immersing ourselves in God’s word allows the Spirit to work through us to produce the fruit of the Spirit.

Whenever we react, we reveal what dominates our mentality at that moment. That could be the sin nature and emotion or that we are walking by the Spirit. When we have positive volition towards God’s word, we obey with actions that follow with His commanded reactions. This is a sign of Christian maturity.

Assets for Control

Self-control is a product of God’s knowledge program. II Peter 1 shows how self-control flows from knowledge and the importance of using our volition to access the divine assets God has provided for us. The concept of divine assets is described in II Peter 1:1-4, followed by our responsibility to utilize these assets in 1:5-14.

God’s desire is for us to have a full, precise, and personal knowledge of Jesus Christ so that we will have all that is required for life and godliness. We see this by the use of the word epignosis in II Peter 1:3. The idea of this word is to be thoroughly acquainted with the object we seek to know, which in this case is Christ.

God has provided us with divine assets or promises. To gain knowledge about them, we must choose to search His word so that we can identify, understand, and use them. These divine assets are the sum total of benefits available to the believer listed in Scripture, based on the cross and taken by faith. The emphasis in this study is not on what the assets are, rather on their character and our choice to appropriate them.

The source of our assets is God’s divine power, an infinite, unchanging, incomprehensible power. The nature of our assets is a once-for-all gift of grace, an open-handed generosity. The word given is in the perfect tense, which indicates a past, completed action with results that abide into the future. Thus, our assets have already been given. We must engage in Bible study to find, understand, and use these assets. The scope of our assets is all things. Thus, no need exists for the believer, only the use of our volition to understand and apply assets available to us. We should be satisfied with God’s provision, rather than tortured by our wants. The value of our assets pertains to an expanded life and godliness that enables right worship. The means of using our assets is through the knowledge of Christ. The tangible expression of these assets is described as precious and very great promises that flow from God’s benevolent character. A promise is only as reliable as the person giving it. God’s ability to deliver on His promises gives us great hope and assurance in their surety and effectiveness. These features sum up why they are great and precious promises.

There are reasons God has given these promises. The first is that we might come into an intimate knowledge of Him. Second, these promises tell us how to identify with our Creator. Third, these promises separate Christianity from mystic religions to an objective reality. In summary, we are connected by the power of God and to the very nature of God. All of this will flow to us through the Word of God.

Responsibility of Assets

Scripture never separates divine provisions from our responsibility. Our responsibility is never separated from our volition. God’s order is provision, responsibility, and choice. This pattern is seen in Romans 6 where Paul teaches us that those who are “in Christ” have the provision of being freed from sin. Our responsibility is to not let sin reign in our mortal bodies. We are commanded to use our volition to say no to sin because we have been enabled by His power.

Psalm 119:9 is another example when David asks, “How can a young man keep his way pure?” He answers in 119:10 that the way is a complete commitment to seek and follow God’s commandments. In contrast, Luke 22:54-62 recounts Peter’s less than wholehearted commitment on the eve of Jesus’ crucifixion. Peter loved the Lord too much to abandon Him, but not enough to boldly walk beside Him.

Coming back to II Peter 1:5, the words for this reason connect our assets for a successful Christian life to responsibility. We are to diligently pursue the qualities listed in verses 5-7. These qualities are connected by the Greek preposition en, indicating each quality flows from the previous. Peter is teaching us the road to the highest Christian character. He begins with faith, which is our positive volition toward truth, and ends with love, which is doing the best for others in the light of eternity despite the personal cost.

Here then is the order of developing Christian character. Out of faith flows virtue. Out of virtue flows knowledge. Out of knowledge flows self-control. Out of self-control flows patience. Out of patience flows godliness. Out of godliness flows brotherly kindness. Out of brotherly kindness flows love. 

We are to diligently pursue these qualities. The Greek word for diligence demands effort, work, and choice. We are not to be passive, rather intentional about maturing our Christian character.

I Peter 2:2 makes this analogy: what food is to the body, God’s word is to the inner person. As the body is nourished by food, so God’s word nourishes the mind. Both require repetition. You cannot eat once and be permanently filled, neither can you take in God’s word once and be mature. We need both daily. 

Finally, notice the link between self-control and knowledge. Knowledge refers to objective truth found in the Word of God. This is why there is always an attack on activities and people who pursue or teach divine knowledge. Without knowledge, we have no framework for Christian responses, rather we respond from a purely emotional framework. Consider this statement from II Peter 3:9 as a perfect example of how patience flows from self-control. “God is not slow to fulfill the promise of His coming; rather He is patient giving every single one of us ample opportunity to turn to Him in faith.”